No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.1 Corinthians 10:13 ESV
We have such a tendency to hide in our trials because our fear of judgment is stronger than God’s call for us to live in community. This is how the enemy draws us away and isolates us. He convinces us that our specific problem is not common to man, but rather only for people who deserved to be judged as failures.
The struggles we experience in our marriage are common. It is impossible to dwell in the same house with another broken person and not experience relational strife. The world can make it feel as if our problems are unique because there is a superficial lack of transparency in our world. We paint a picture of perfection for others because we don’t want their judgment. Sadly, that fear comes from a place of judgment ourselves. Our sinful hearts live in such a ruse of superiority. We look down on other people and marriages that are broken and we pass judgment. So, when the struggle happens in our own home, we keep it secret because we don’t want others to know. We don’t want others to pass judgment on us.
Understand that the struggle you experience in your marriage is intentionally common to man. God created marriage as a way to refine you, so of course, it’s going to be challenging. He’s buffing out the rough spots with that person He’s attached you to for life. He chose that person because He knew the sandpaper part of their personality was going to smooth out your bumps. All of our bumps are a little different, so we each need a different type of sandpaper, but we’re all getting buffed and refined by the one we’ve chosen for marriage.
Learning to understand God’s plan and His sovereignty in your marriage is how we strengthen our faith and our union. We learn those truths by spending time in honest and transparent conversations with people who are walking the same path with us, preferably those a little further down the road. God calls us to live in community for this very reason, so that we may encourage one another in our struggles and continually point our hearts back to Him.
For this reason, the type of community you choose to share your struggles in is vitally important to your ability to move through them. Choose a Godly community of other married couples who regularly open Scripture as a way to manage trials and conflict, and seek out the wisdom from a couple who’s been married long enough to endure many of life’s struggles. If you are willing to share your struggles, you will find people walking beside you on the same path who will encourage and support you, and people ahead of you on the path who have incredible biblical wisdom for you. He’ll even place people on the path behind you that you will be able to teach. That’s all part of His perfect plan while we’re here on earth.
Don’t let the enemy convince you your problem is not common, and don’t let the enemy convince you that people will judge you—that is how he isolates you.
Whoever isolates himself seeks his own desire; he breaks out against all sound judgment.Proverbs 18:1 ESV
God calls us to live in communities because He knows our need to encourage and support each other in our deepest and darkest valleys and to teach each other what we have learned from Him on the path. He knows we need community to help us to see the deception we cannot see in our own hearts—the enemy will use fear of man’s judgment to isolate us from that community.
No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. We are all walking through the same struggles, my friends. Link arms with fellow believers and find your strength in Him. He has brought those communities into your life specifically to help you fight your battle—THIS is your way of escape.
Press on ~ you are loved 💗