For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. Jeremiah 29:11 ESV The plans for your life are declared by God. The plan for your spouse and for your marriage are declared by God. As I pause and meditate on those thoughts, I’m overwhelmed at the awesomeness of our God. The God who created the universe, who… Continue Reading →
If we want to find the good God promises in our most difficult struggles, we have to stop focusing on our solutions to the problems, and start focusing on Him, trusting completely that He has it under control.
When we open up about where God has us, when we become transparent about the trials or the sin issues in our hearts, we often find others who have walked similar paths sitting in our presence. That’s God.
God promises to always provide an escape, and it’s very rarely an end to the marriage. His escape is almost always a promise to trust that He has a plan for your good if you walk through the struggle and not around it.
God promises to be our refuge forever. He is a firm rock on which we can stand. He never shifts, He never crumbles, He is solid. He will provide you with everything you need to find joy and peace in this world.
When we sit down in prayer with God about the struggles in our marriage, we can confidently look to a future day when He will rescue us. He will provide what we need, He will heal our hearts, He will restore our bonds. We can trust God to rescue us.
We all love imperfectly because we all try to love others in our own power. We need to continually hold up God’s definition of love against what to world teaches us to find and fight the discrepancies.
God calls us to a life of humility, one where we are consistently putting others before ourselves. Our job to become keenly aware of where we fall short so that we can surrender our pride in confession and repentance.
Love does not insist on its own way. It takes a flexible mindset to be able to see things from another person’s perspective, to consider another person’s experiences, or to lay down what you think is best.
God doesn’t keep track of our sins against Him, we should not keep track of others. He chooses to show us grace. If we are to love like He does, we must choose to show grace in the same way to others in our lives.
The mark of a truly loving person is someone who will not wince or falter under pressure, but will lean in to brace the relationship when sufferings and afflictions hit. The enemy seeks to destroy and divide.
God is working on all those who believe at a different rate. If your spouse is a believer, you can bet that God is working on their hearts to reveal their sin to them, and He is using the very incident that caused you pain to do it.
It is only to the transforming grace of Jesus Christ that we can begin to release the past and find a way to live in the present. There is a grace available to you that frees you from living in the past.
The fight for God-honoring Marriage is a life-long battle. As a younger couple, you may look at more mature marriages and think they have “arrived”; that they are somehow closer to perfection, but you would be wrong. They still struggle with the flesh every moment of every day just like you do—the only difference is they know how to put on their battle gear.
Reliving hurtful moments brings us to a dangerous state of mind, and opens up an opportunity for the enemy to attack. Sins we have moved past or hurts we have forgiven suddenly become larger than life again, and we can develop a victim mentality focusing on all the things that have gone wrong.
God never looks at us and tells us we’ve been struggling too long with the same sin; He never throws His hands up because we’re struggling with a temptation that He thinks we should just get over; He never says that one sin is too great to forgive.
God designed marriage as a way to refine us, to sanctify us, to help us grow in His image. He knows the deceptive nature of our hearts won’t allow us to do that on our own, so He created marriage as a way to reveal our sin to us.
God designed marriage as a way to refine us, to help us clearly see our own hearts. We need our spouses to hold us accountable, and we need them to confront us with the truth about what’s in our hearts. Without that exhortation, we will not grow in the ways He calls us to grow.
We are warned to protect our hearts throughout scripture. This is because a sinful, unbelieving heart causes us to become insensitive to God. It is like cancer that slowly eats away at our ability to trust and rely on Him.
True sacrificial love means we lay down what is important to us in favor of what is important to our spouses. We give up our point of view, our beliefs, our comforts, our expectations and we pick up theirs as valuable.
If we are trying to define what love in our marriage should look like, we must start here: God is the very definition of love. We must look vertically before we can ever look horizontally to find the love our hearts desire.
Fear of the wrong things will keep you from becoming all God intends for you to be, and it will keep your marriage from becoming all that God intends for it to be for you. It will limit your potential and it will destroy your union.
When one spouse is controlled by an irrational fear, it dominates conversations and impacts decisions. This takes a toll on the receiving spouse, breaks down communication, and causes relational strife.