No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.1 Corinthians 10:13 ESV
I think sometimes, we can be so wrapped in in our trial, that we miss the way of escape He has placed before us. When it’s been so hard for so long, we just want it to end our way. But God has us walk through trials for many different reasons, and remember—the way out is most often walking through it.
God made us some promises in scripture. He promises to be with us as we walk through great trouble, and He promises that we will not be drowned or consumed by the fires or our trials.
When you go through deep waters and great trouble, I will be with you. When you go through the rivers of difficulty, you will not drown! When you walk through the fire of oppression, you will not be burned up—the flames will not consume you. For I am the Lord your God, your Savior, the Holy One of Israel.Isaiah 43:2-3 ESV
The problem is we listen to the lies of the world, so we think they will. Recognizing those lies and replacing them with the truths of Scripture is how we battle the enemy. The world tells us we are in the only marriage that struggles, or we have the only spouse who doesn’t love us as they should, but the truth in Scripture tells us that many people struggle with the same thing and God is faithful to provide a way out. The world tells us that God has left us in our broken marriage, but the truths of Scripture tell us God will never leave us nor forsake us. The world tells us that the brokenness in our marriage is more than we can bear, that we cannot handle this on our own, that it’s just too much, but Scripture tells us God knows what we can endure and will carry us through what seems unbearable. The world tells us that we are trapped, and that the only way out of the trial is for us to break ourselves out of the marriage, but the truths of Scripture tell us that He provides a way through our trial.
Our plan of escape is most often for the other person to change. We wouldn’t be having these problems if he was different…if she just changed her expectations, we’d be fine. We complain and we grumble. Our grumbling sinfully rebels against the incompetence of God by determining the change that will make us happy. If God doesn’t transform their heart, then we begin to look for ways to avoid the conflict. We grow distant and cold, neglecting the time and energy needed to build the kind of unity God calls us to in marriage. As we grow more distant, our hearts become more calloused, and we decide it’s easier to run from the problem.
God promises to always provide an escape, and it’s very rarely an end to the marriage. His escape is almost always a promise to trust that He has a plan for your good if you walk through the struggle and not around it. His way of escape can be found in the Scripture that tell us of His promises:
- Trust in the Lord with all of your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all of your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths. Proverbs 3:5-6
- And my God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus. Phil 4:19.
- And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose. Romans 8:28
While the escape from our troubled marriage may look slightly different for each one of us, we can rest assured His escape can be found in His promises. When you hear yourself grumbling about your marriage or your spouse, look for the promises He has made to you. He doesn’t promise your marriage will end if your spouse does not fulfill their promise to you, He says you will have trouble, but He promises to be with you. He doesn’t promise your spouse will treat you lovingly or with respect, but He does promise to exalt the humble. He doesn’t promise your spouse won’t lie to you, but He does promise you a future and a Hope.
I think the hardest part about fighting the temptation to quit is that we often don’t feel like we want God’s escape in the moment. Our flesh wants our escape because our perception and our feelings are strong. Our tendency is to trust those perceptions and jump in to control the situation. But fighting the temptation to run or turn our backs means we trust our promises over perceptions because we know them to be true. If we trust those promises, joy will come to our marriage.
Press on ~ you are loved 💗